We have another couple of inches of the white stuff on the ground and I was out of bed early to shovel the driveway before the light of day.  We have our first viewing of the house scheduled for later this afternoon 1 week after listing it.  I will be participating in a sweat lodge at a special place very dear to my heart Eh-Kweh-Heh-Weh Center for Learning on the Tuscarora Nation.  I had the thought this morning about how I’m the narrator and main character in this unfolding story that is my life.  I suppose in some respects I can indulge my muse, or ego, while at the same time nourishing my soul with awakening and understanding.  Writing for me is an art form of expression and a tool for self-actualization.  This is my story and I’m sticking to it.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of a new friend whom I had met at an Occupy event last weekend.  Laura and I enjoyed conversation over hot caffeinated beverages before a smoke alarm tripped guiding us outside where we proceeded to walk around the neighborhood.  I noted some commonalities in our backgrounds as we shared our truth.  As we neared the conclusion of our time together she poignantly asked me, “Where do you see yourself going from here?”  The question caught me off guard and my answer was at best vague, at worst an attempt to escape without a commitment to answer.  As the external forms of my life disintegrate I’m reminded of a unique opportunity, or a blank canvass, upon which I may create a new story.  So while I’m living moment to moment in a practice of presence like never before, her question challenges me to develop a clearer vision as a guide for my choices.  I do know that I’m paying close to attention to that which inspires me verses that which is motivated by fear.  And so much in life really does inspire me.  I see great things ahead for me and really do want to be in service of others in whichever role I perform.

My next stop was at my folks’ place, conveniently in the vicinity of Spot Coffee, which thankfully did not burn to the ground.  My father had acquired a divorce packet for me from the county clerk’s office earlier in the day.  As a lawyer he’s helped other family members through this process and I’m grateful that he is extending his support to me.  My mother prepared a delicious home-cooked meal and we were later joined by my brother to dine.  I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful family and it is an encouraging reflection of where I’m at with my self at this juncture in my life.  There were times where the relationship with my parents had been severely strained in my younger, less responsible years.  Now that I blame, complain, criticize and make excuses less and less often I enjoy increasing harmony in my interactions with others.  As I continue to love and integrate all parts of myself I’m able to be that change I seek in the world.

In common wealth,

SjK

You can be the captain and I will draw the chart, sailing into destiny, closer to the heart… – Neil Peart

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