Back at the beach house on a glorious Sunday morning as sunshine sparkles off the snow.  The neighbor across the street did us the kind favor of snowblowing the driveway making for a tidy entry.  This place is such a gift, especially so at this crossroads in my life offering much needed space to reflect and organize my thoughts.  I noticed when my wife returned home from her run this morning I became irritable for no particular reason other than wanting solitude, and so I hopped in the truck and here I am.  Big ups to the Universe for making this available to me right now, reminding me that we are always equally supported and challenged at any given moment in perfect balance.

I have the divorce documents with me to review so we can move forward with filing sooner than later.  It is a thick packet and I can’t say I am inspired to peruse its contents, although I see light at the end of the tunnel as I assume responsibility.  Yesterday my wife spent the better part of the day cleaning and organizing the house to ensure a presentable appearance for prospective buyers.  I suppose she’s taking the lead on that initiative as I do so for the divorce.  As we continue to work together harmoniously the transition shall be smoother than if we were to play the blame game for the circumstances we’ve co-created.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of participating in a sweat lodge one day shy of the 15th anniversary from my very first experience in an ancient purification ceremony.  While it was far from the hottest lodge in terms of temperature, the messages shared in the lodge certainly nudged upon the comfort zone.  The second round did provide enough steam from the red hot ancestors (rocks) to sting the skin some, thus providing what’s called a “stinger.”  As we proceeded into the third and fourth rounds, representing the stages in life of when we walk with a mate and as elders respectively, the heat was notably diminished.  Despite the relatively cool atmosphere our emcee Tahwehdahqui continued to pour water while sharing his truth with the group as others chimed in with their prayers and song.  He pointed out that one of two things will keep us from pursuing and realizing our dreams in life- shame and guilt.  At some point in our lives we’d given up on our dream, tragically so, and then sort of just lived into what we think we should be doing.  The end result is self-destructive behavior and a life unlived.

I was also quite surprised to hear that Tahwehdahqui supports Ron Paul for the upcoming presidency.  I wasn’t so much surprised at his choice of candidates as I was at his chosen topic of politics, which is not something he’s known to discuss.  He elaborated that in Paul’s message he hears taking responsibility for our lives, which is what he’s been teaching thousands for several decades.  He mentioned that Paul does not criticize other candidates in a vain attempt to look better and gain favor.  He also refers to The Constitution, which was modeled after the Iroquois Confederacy by such proponents as Benjamin Franklin.  While he may be a bit biased in this regard being of native blood himself, I tend to agree that the model beholds the principles for a truly just and equitable society based on individual responsibility.

In the fourth and final round Tahwehdahqui discussed the law of reflections, a concept I’d been introduced to over a decade ago in his class.  It was a poignant reminder that everything in our lives is a reflection of us- government, employers, significant others, etc.  He emphasized that the aim is to practice “feeling good” regardless of our life circumstances, whether we deem these favorable or unfavorable.  As moisture dripped from my brow and mucous from my nose I reflected on all the upheaval in my life and how in spite of the challenges I feel remarkably good.  While there are certainly moments when I indulge in a “poor me” story, these are few and far between. Rather, my focus is increasingly on how I can be of service to others and in giving I am abundantly in receipt of all that I need.

I just got back from an ATV cruise along the snowy shoreline my eyes watering as the cold breeze clashed with my face in an invigorating fashion.  My folks are keen on the notion of having a “caretaker” out here and each time I visit it feels more like home than my present living quarters.  While it would only be an interim bunker I’d most certainly have the space my soul craves as I undergo this transformation.  Later this afternoon there’s conference championship football to determine Super Bowl XLVII matchup before tomorrow begins another week of unpredictable activity in this unchartered territory.  I like the home teams to prevail resulting in a first ever New England verses San Francisco clash for the Lombardi Trophy.

In common wealth,


“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what can you do for your country?” – John Fitzgerald Kennedy