It is a chilly Wednesday morning as I just turned the thermostat up to warm my fingers so I can type.  In reviewing my present set of circumstances I’m connecting some of the dots on how I managed to create this upheaval in my life.  As I reflect back I recall the various attempts at self-employment interspersed with being an employee over the last decade.  I use the word “attempt” as I was never able to generate the resources needed to pay my bills, and so I would return to work for someone else seeking that “security” in a predictable, stable income.  Yet, even as I managed to do so there remained resistance to the feeling of lack and uncertainty in the landscape gig I had where I could go from making well over a $1,000 per week in the peak of the season to $600 weekly in the off-season.  I feared having an irregular and insufficient income source, which is exactly where I am once again.  Truly, what we resist persists.

On the flip side, I’ve created an opportunity to examine my intentions, feelings and actions without the burden of working somewhere that is not aligned with my highest values, and being in an intimate partnership that is now dissolving.  This daily blog is evidence of this opportunity, carpe diem as it were.  Furthermore, I am participating in as many interactions with others who share this presence focus on transformation through an untold number of modalities and techniques.  I’ve never felt more alone in my life and yet less lonely than ever.  I am awakening and connecting with the Infinite Intelligence within my being clearing the way for a new story that allows me to fully feel all that comes to me through me and for me while shining a brighter light into the darkness.

I’m often reminded in my interactions with others that this level of awakening or development is far from mainstream.  There are many folks who consider themselves “enlightened” or “spiritual” who focus on changing the world of form, rather than realizing change only takes place within.  And it’s not that anyone who is awakening or further along in the process is “better” than any other, they’re just different.  The trap here is becoming defensive in asserting one’s truth, trying to be “right” about what they know from their experience to be true.  I’ve read many books over the years that served as a catalyst for awareness and growth; however, none of it became “real” until I applied the principles to my life and experienced results.  In this respect, we are students and teachers at all times.  We are also masters remembering who we really are.

In common wealth,

SjK

Creativity isn’t about what we create.
It’s about who we become by sharing what we create.  – Scott Ginsberg

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