I just finished turning over what would have been the vegetable garden had I plans to retain this residence through the growing season, which I do not.  Unless of course, due to poor market conditions, we’re stuck renting to tenants.  In that less desirable outcome I would plant the garden and tend to it this summer as a landlord.  If I could summon an income stream of about $3k take home per month I could live comfortably in this house while snowballing debt payments until I hit zero.  I had been taking home a bit more than that in my most recent position and supporting a spouse with it too.  I believe the time has come to master responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions.  And I feel as though that will take place in a new residential setting.

I’m pumped up, as if I were in the locker room gearing up for a clash on the lacrosse field.  We loaded up the better portion of our display for Plantasia this afternoon, including a dismantled greenhouse, arbor, stage and 3 ton of creek run boulders.  Tomorrow we begin set-up on site and transform 1,280 square feet of cold concrete into an inviting and welcoming scene where people feel good as they enter and leave our space.  I was advised to expect between 12,000 and 14,000 visitors over the 4 days and if we get to speak with 1% of that traffic we can expect many highly qualified leads to begin the season.  I confess that I’m intimidated going into this experience for the first time with adrenalin coursing through my system.  It’s almost game time.

I’m on the phone with Emil, the brother of a woman I met through the sweat lodge (speaking of which I missed one today), who is a blacksmith and metal sculptor.  We were just getting into the heart of the conversation about the theme of our display and how I feel some of his pieces could be worked into the design, then the battery died.  It’s been a recurring issue and the need to upgrade hardware is imminent.  I hesitate to learn a new piece of technology while I’m juggling everything else, but I can’t have dropped calls when I’m discussing business.  It’s not only impolite and unprofessional, it can be costly.

I am paying closer attention to my motives in any given moment.  It is quite likely that I carded, wrist-banded and exchanged words with over a thousand people throughout the duration of the St. Patrick’s’ Day tent party at The Irishman.  I’m exhausted yet keenly aware when fear is the motivator rather than inspiration.  For instance, I had the notion to message a buddy of mine who is a financial advisor to re-schedule an outing, and then realized that it was anxiety over my financial circumstances dominating the frequency.  I opted not to reach out and instead continue my focus on this show.  Like I told Nick it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, and that we have an opportunity to inspire, empower and educate ourselves and others throughout the process.  The show must go on.

In common wealth,

SjK

As business ventures go, if it feeds your soul, it is an enterprise worth all the effort. – Dana Gerow

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