The day sort of unraveled as it went on going from a slate full of potential activity to a cleared plate so I took advantage of the opportunity for some solitary refinement out here at the beach house once again.  I just got back from a brief stroll along the shore and up into the woods where honeysuckle is flourishing in the understory leafing out along with popping buds from witch hazel and choke cherry.  I hadn’t previously noticed a pair of hemlocks angling to pierce the canopy of mighty oaks.  Upon my return I removed the Clark’s tree wrap from the maple saplings we planted last season.  There really wasn’t much need for it as the rabbits and chipmunks and woodchucks had plenty of forage amid an extraordinarily light winter.

Earlier today I was pondering human nature and imagining what it might be like if we were free of any desire to seek pleasure or avoid pain.  In other words, what if we could just exist breathing and consuming only what is necessary to sustain our physical form?  Plants and animals and rocks and things aren’t much interested in material gain, merely taking in what is available to support their existence.  Humans never seem satisfied for long no matter how great one profits.  Too often we lead lives of numbing decay through sensory pleasure.  Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with seeking and attaining pleasure, or with decay.  It’s just not as appealing once you step back and examine the motives at play.  I’d much rather just be than get so caught up in all the doing.  We are human beings after all.

And so here I am retreating to this splendid space near the shores of Lake Erie on this final day of March 2012.  I might really consider relocating here semi-permanently as it’s become increasingly tedious to co-exist with someone for whom I no longer have an intimate connection.  Lying in the same bed is becoming a repulsive exercise and the friction does not support the rejuvenating sleep necessary for optimal function.  My only concern is maintaining the house until it is sold and also having internet access out here to keep up on my business.  I’ve yet to attempt tethering my Android to broadcast a Wi-Fi signal and perhaps I will do that now.

It is now morning and I’m back at my residence in Hamburg after a pleasant evening of solitude and a good night’s sleep.  No such luck on connecting to wi-fi via my phone so I’ll have to get some assistance from my tech buddy Gus, who a couple of weeks ago offered me 2 months worth of lucrative contract work that I turned down due to my present commitments with the landscape and credit card businesses.  I can’t stop re-thinking my choice, although the timing to be away is not ideal with the house sale and divorce lingering.  I’m more in the spontaneous flow than I have been in many years and it is disconcerting at times, although quite liberating as I continue this self-renovation.

In common wealth,

SjK

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