My mind often races at such a dizzying whirlwind of psycho-kinetic energy that the prospect of recounting even half the thoughts and insights I have throughout the course of a day is overwhelming, if not preposterous.  The beach has a way of distilling the best quality insights and so here I am again composing in this Daily Log 2012.  Upon arrival I fired up the quad and ripped southbound along the water’s edge pulling up to snap a photo of the gently rolling surf as the sun hung along the azimuth about an hour from setting.  On the ride back the boys at the access were driving range balls out into the lake as I paused to say hey.  Jake informed me that Mickey Rats is open and asked if I’d be staying in tonight, to which I replied that I come out here to get some peace.  The suggestion was tempting considering the prospects to mingle with the ladies, but I know in my heart of hearts I know I need to decompress.

I just finished lighting a fire and burning a stack of bills and other correspondence with sensitive data, followed by a series of decorative wreaths cast aside by my ex-wife and topped off with a shredded pair of Carharts that had stood the wrath of manual labor for a good 8 years.  Speaking of which, my body is mildly aching, though not in a painful way, following a third and final day completing a major clean-up at the Franciscan Sisters residence.  I’m reminded how well my body responds to intense physical activity.  By my cost analysis we managed to turn a very modest profit of a few hundred dollars, despite going well over budget on mulch.  Fortunately, Sister Sharon was agreeable to cover the extra 10 yards needed to cover over the designated landscape beds.  I had bid the job purposely low in the hopes of landing a large account over the long haul while generating referral opportunities.  It remains to be seen whether things will pan out accordingly.

Just before departure from the house I had dinner with my ex-wife and we agreed to lower our counter-offer another thousand dollars in the hopes of securing a deal.  I reminded her that there are several bills I am still picking up and that she will need to take responsibility in the near future.  It wasn’t until I informed her that I had paid off a credit card balance with the home equity line that things became hostile.  Somehow she has convinced herself that the bills she’s managed to run up over the course of our marriage have nothing to do with the fact that I’m seeking a fair split of any excess proceeds from the sale of the house.  She stooped to name-calling as she’s done often when we’ve argued.  I opted to step out the door rather than escalate it any further, instead contacting my father, who is also serving as my legal counsel.  He assured me that since the divorce proceeding has been initiated I am no longer financially responsible for her.  He also said that he’d be proactively contacting her lawyer next week to get an update on the status of the settlement agreement.  Nonetheless, I’ve continued to support her
through completion of a master’s degree.  I prefer to take the high road, no matter how difficult it may be.

Last night I joined my sister and several others for the Sabres’ game in what we call “The Manitorium”, a garage converted into a mini-sports arena replete with sofas and a 110” projection screen.  Unfortunately for the hometown team the outcome spelled the end of a season that began with exceptionally high hopes as a new owner took the helm.  There will be no playoff hockey in Buffalo this year and for me it is one less thing on my plate.  The future looks bright for the organization with an owner committed to bringing the Stanley Cup to a town desperate for a champion in one of the 4 major professional sports.  I’ve been following the team for close to 30 years now and I can still remember watching games with my grandfather at the Amvets Post 49 as young boy.

I really do enjoy my own company and must seriously consider relocating out here rather than stick it out at the house where the divide is becoming a chasm.  It amazes me that I still care about someone who is so deluded and self-absorbed.  Somehow she can afford to do the Boston Marathon next weekend on a meager unemployment stipend.  I know she’s got to be running up a credit card tab and it is that behavior that dragged us both down financially in the 4 years of our wildly hot and cold relationship.  I recall a message I received years ago in a meditation, “Your greatest partnership is with yourself.”  It is so profoundly simple yet true.  It all begins and ends right here with me.

In common wealth,

SjK

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