The last several days and nights spent alone have given me an opportunity to reflect on our union.  I’ve felt an immense degree of sadness in grieving and it is with a heavy heart that I am looking forward to completing the process and moving on.  I can now appreciate why people avoid this experience, even if they’re certain that it is the best course of action to pursue.  Breaking up is always difficult and divorce even more so.  It takes a lot of courage.

I believe we had much in common in terms of pursuing our goals in self-improvement, individually and as a couple.  Although in the end it became apparent that we have fundamentally different understandings on how to go about it.  I’ve cared for you deeply and offered everything within my power to sustain the relationship.  I was compelled to “fix” things and it was just never enough.  I often felt drained and alone, which of course worsened as the distance between us grew.  I stuck it out at a job that I loathed to keep resources coming in for us.  I now realize in hindsight that I’d abandoned myself and gave beyond what I had to offer in a sustainable way.  This left me hollow and bitter, a shell of my true self.

As we approach the final stage of going our separate ways I do want to thank you for all the learning, sharing and caring over the last 4 years.  I may second-guess my choices, but the growth I’ve experienced throughout our partnership is a gift that could not have been received otherwise.  Adversity has a way of building character.  I will miss your goofiness and playfulness, a trait I was not able to fully enjoy in our time together as I often felt a prisoner of circumstance.  Your resolve and determination to achieve a goal is also something I greatly admire.  I know you will succeed at whatever you set out to accomplish in life.

I would very much like to remain friends as we set off in new directions, if at all possible.  I’d like to think we will soon be able to move through the uncomfortable dynamic between us and become supporters of one another thereafter.  Right now I am accepting that negativity comes with the territory as we both cope with an unpleasant experience.  I applaud us for our mutual diplomacy as we await the legal process to culminate and pray that we both walk away feeling not depleted, rather enriched by our time together.  God bless.

From the heart,

Sean

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