I just got out of the tub saturated with Epsom salts on a comfortably cool spring evening.  Peepers are singing in the forest as the Washington Capitals hold a 1-0 lead over the Boston Bruins in a decisive Game 7 to determine who advances to the conference semi-finals.  The grounds are looking manicured following a much-needed mow followed by mulching the hybrid maple trees I’d planted a year ago bare root.  I brought a few personal items out with me including a toothbrush, deodorant, winter coats and various sundries affirming the progression to relocate here at the lake house.  Though it may be a temporary residence it sure is a blessing during this epic personal transformation.

Earlier in the day I busted up the old concrete step coming off the back of my parents’ house with a jack hammer.  It took about 45 minutes to reduce everything to rubble as my father and I piled up the larger chunks of debris for disposal in the field once things dry out.  The smaller stuff we were able to lose by filling in low areas that will be finished graded once the new deck is constructed.  I’ve always enjoyed demolition and I suppose there is a relevant correlation to my life right now as the debris gets sorted out.  There are piles hither and thither from the old forms as I patiently prepare for the new.

I’ve been giving some consistent thought to this notion of “us and them”, specifically how we tend to see ourselves as separate entities going about our business all too often disgruntled by the behavior of others.  What I’ve found is that whenever we are blaming, complaining, criticizing or making excuses we are prone to helplessness, which typically leads to anger, if not full on rage, and the illusion of separation from the Universe is perpetuated.  It is only in taking responsibility for the reality we experience in this life that we have a prayer of co-creating a new world.  I get this sense that more and more folks are waking up to a yearning to evolve and participate in the birthing of something greater than we’ve been thus far.  And yet when we read of all the war and famine and abuse it can be difficult to believe that there is hope for humanity.

I was asked out to dinner and Kirtan by a lovely young lady I’d met the other night at Tolle group.  Laura had asked Amy for my digits and Amy sought my permission to share the information.  I admit I did hesitate for a moment as I considered her intentions, and then realized that to withhold would be fear-based.  I awoke to a text this morning saying that it gave her “chills” when I harmonized during Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah that we’d performed karaoke style.  I definitely felt an attraction to her, although after she’d shared with us the gory details of a recent break-up it was evident she is rebound material, much like me, and that would only make things especially complicated.  I text her back that while flattered she’d like to spend time with me I prefer things remain platonic.  I’m working on simplicity right now, and this can be challenging at times, keeping it simple is the road less traveled.

Shout out to Benjamin who took me up on my request for feedback in a recent post on converting this blog into a book.  He pointed out the obvious in that my posts are “scattered” and lacking much of the structure required for a book.  I politely embraced his critique in my response explaining that if a book concept were to emerge it would most certainly contain a consistent theme, and that for now this blog is serving as a tool, or practice as I move through a major shift in consciousness.  The content is like a lump of clay with potential from which to sculpt a beautiful work of art.  My life is quite diverse and I run in many circles, some of which overlap, making for a broad spectrum of topics and events.  I reckon if I were to sub out my autobiography to a ghost writer they’d have their work cut out for them.

In common wealth,

SjK

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