Finally some peace and quiet having just returned to a vacant beach house after a weekend filled with activity.  Temperatures are approaching 90 degrees as a warm and dry spring continues.  The beach bonfire was a blast with some 50 people gathered around the 15 foot high structure erected upon the sand.  I stayed up much too late as I continue to struggle with a sleep deficit that left me wanting nothing to do with all the hoopla yesterday with extended family showing up in honor of the holiday.  It is not my nature to be anti-social but the sheer exhaustion left me with no alternative as I sought solitude along the wooded shoreline at one point, then the bedroom for a couple quasi-naps and even some front porch time to ponder in my reclusive state.  A good deal of emotion arose yesterday and the heaviness consumed me until bed time.

This time last year my ex-wife and I spent the entire holiday clearing and cleaning out the basement.  I had a premonition way back then that we were preparing for the imminent dissolution of our marriage and an exodus from the homestead.  Indeed it is one less project that’s required to stage the home for sale or rent.  I re-listed an ad on Craigslist and received a very strong response from interested inquiries.  I am now waiting to see which, if any, will complete the online rental app as a tool for screening only reputable candidates.  If I’m going to take on the responsibility of a landlord I need to minimize drama and focus on maintenance, collection of rent and adherence to terms of a rental agreement.  I just made a mortgage payment using up the last of the home equity line so the clock is ticking if there isn’t an acceptable offer on the house in the near future.

A few friends will be coming out later in the day to gather in common wealth as we close out this Memorial Day weekend.  I may saunter down to the water and cool off with a swim after publishing this latest blog.  I’m really feeling the shift taking place within my soul as I continue down this path of self-love.  The process has been arduous at various intervals as I surrender in faith.  Nothing is going to change my world as the Beatles once sang, other than my perception of matters and the belief systems driving these perceptions.  We are opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous love light of the One…

In common wealth,

SjK

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