Yesterday was such a flurry of activity I had no energy left to post an entry for Day 13 arriving home shortly before midnight and hit the sack.  As a gentle rain fell the house did indeed close at County Hall.  The banker’s attorney handed over several checks after reviewing the voluminous paperwork required to process the transaction stating, “Congratulations, you are now homeless.”  I smiled and replied, “I never would’ve thought that would be cause for celebration.”  The bittersweet culmination of a rather long emotional, and at times physical ordeal had been relieved.

From the courthouse I made my way over to the bank to pay the first in a series of bills, closing out a home equity line of credit that had swelled to near its limit by the time the divorce process had ensued.  The teller directed me to his supervisor as he was unable to handle the required paperwork to close out the account.  I was running late for a meeting and after the transaction was completed I asked her name, replying, “Pansy”, to which I responded, “Just like the pretty spring flower.”  She smiled and I walked out of the building feeling a burden lifted.

At the meeting I was introduced to, Denny and Paul, the visionaries behind a start-up company Buffalo Hydrogen, which will be a state-of-the-art organic waste to energy project sited on a brownfield in the city of Buffalo.  I felt like we hit it off as they painted a picture including the key political, legal and logistical players involved.  I enjoyed the candid teasing between they, proudly conservative Republicans and my prospective business partner Di, a proudly liberal Democrat.  I was encouraged by the rapport between those at opposite ends of the political spectrum.  As Denny gave me the floor to share what brings me to the table I responded touching upon my entrepreneurial nature and educational background in environmental science, and he seemed pleased.  He then emphasized the need to have “heart” to weather the storm of a start-up, citing his many failures and success in business.  I replied with confidence, “One thing I have is a ton of heart.”  I left the meeting feeling turbo-charged, regardless of the eventual outcome, I’m inspired.

From there I headed off to my next appointment, a social engagement with a lady friend whom I cajoled into making me dinner.  Although it didn’t require much twisting of her arm as she loves food and my company.  We enjoyed an amazing evening with a healthy meal of roasted red pepper soup and corn fritters with fresh salsa, all prepared from scratch, followed by play time on the sofa with a CD shuffle including U2, Bob Marley and Adele.  On the ride over to her place I text my ex-wife informing her in a very business-like manner that the house closed and I’d be mailing a check to her mother’s house.  She responded quickly inquiring of the dollar amount, to which I replied with a figure, and another quick follow-up, “Great.”  I was relieved  that she didn’t put up a stink resulting in any more lingering drama.  I’d been concerned upon her initial reaction months ago that I’m “screwing her over.”  She must finally be ready to put it behind her as well and move on in a good way.  It wasn’t until I was talking with my female companion before dinner yesterday that it dawned on me the first date with my ex was 5 years ago to the day.  Wow.  Talk about coming full circle in completing a cycle.  I recalled the date meeting up at a pub for a bite to eat, many laughs and a nice chemistry between us.  As I’d walked her to her car at the end of the evening the skies opened up with thunder and lightning, a sign at the time I’d interpreted as portending of our powerful bond.  In hindsight, I may have considered it a sign of the volatile atmosphere ahead of me.

I live by a policy of not regretting anything I’ve done, only that which I have not.  And in life at any moment we can choose another path, if we’re empowered, as our reasons no longer degrade into excuses.  Yes there are two paths you can by, but in the long run, there’s still time to change the road you’re on…a timely reminder from one of the most profound rock-n-roll tunes in history by one of the most incredible bands of all time Led Zeppelin.  As Eckhart Tolle illustrates there was a time when humans were unconsciously at one with nature and the universe, then we awakened to who we are the ego developing as a result of this awareness with a sense of separation, and we’re now on the path returning to oneness, only this time in a conscious state.  I have several items on the to-do list before band classes this evening- fuel up at the rez, pick up greeting cards for my ex-neighbors, mail out payments to my realtor, the ex and mortgage company- but first I’m going to prepare some leftover kale with avocado for lunch and soak in the tub.  Mitakuye Oyasin!

In common wealth,

SjK

 

 

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