A light rain is falling as a warm front has passed through with temps forecast well into the 50’s for the next few days before dipping back to more wintry conditions later in the week.  I’m shaking off a bit of a malaise following a most raucous celebration with the cousins on Saturday evening where great music, laughter and consumption of beverages occurred.  I found myself going to bed at 10 pm last night and not rising until 8:30 am this morning.  I was fighting heavy eyelids whilst watching the Sabres lose to the Capitals yesterday afternoon.  Now I’m sipping my fruit smoothie for breakfast in reflection and contemplation of what has been and what is to come.

Today is my ex-wife’s birthday and the thought had crossed my mind to wish her well via text message.  Another voice suggested to just leave it be and allow her to extend the olive branch should she ever be inclined.  While there is no thought of ever rekindling any sort of romantic partnership, there remains a slight sadness at the prospect of never having any contact with her again as friends.  I suppose this is how it would be if she had passed away, and continued communication would be purely metaphysical in nature.  And so perhaps that is how best I shall proceed, wishing her a happy birthday with a projected mental thought.  Funny thing in the news today the Senate passing immigration reform legislation that would clear the way for millions of illegals to gain citizenship.  For whatever reason, she always took issue with illegal immigrants.

I’ve noticed some rising anxiety over the last several days, that has since subsided after reaching a peak over the weekend.  I cannot quite pinpoint a singular trigger, although the new career path is likely among the ingredients.  I am also contending with some financial stress with the expiration of UI benefits and no certainty of any proceeds from a pending new claim filed last week.  I have enough funds to cover me until my first paycheck, presuming the start date holds for middle of next month.  However, there is something comforting about having at least a few dollars in the bank as a “cushion.”  If I do deplete some or all of the surplus I shall choose not to be resentful, rather grateful that I’ve had it to make this transition.

A big focus for me going forward will be improving my financial and physical health.  I’ve put on a few extra pounds with a winter layer of indulgences and am heading toward a desk job.  If I knew I was going to be landscaping on a regular basis it would be of little concern as the intense activity would shed the excess quickly.    I am overdue for a cleansing regimen and intend to do at least a 7 day program before starting the new gig.  As for finances the base pay is enough to pay my bills and it is the quarterly bonus potential where I stand to really strengthen my position by first paying off debt, and then investing the surplus into a new account I’ll soon be opening when I rollover a very modest 401k.  This is not just setting a goal, it is about a lifestyle change and will require diligence to hold myself accountable.  Delayed gratification is not something we’re taught in our consumerist American culture.  Fortunately, I am among a small group of thoughtful citizens who seek to be the change they wish to see in the world.

In common wealth,


“You must gain control over your money or
the lack of it will forever control you.”

—Dave Ramsey: American financial author and
nationally syndicated radio host