I’m listening to a Tom Petty with Stevie Nicks live performance 2009 while noshing on eggplant parm leftovers from a birthday dinner with family last night.  It was a nice gathering of loved ones that served to lift my spirits as the flame flickers in the wake of recent challenges in most every area of my life over the last 10 days, especially my precious 2 year-old cousin Evelyn who is an absolute sweetheart, such a pure expression of love.  Some say life will beat you down, yeah and it will break your heart and steal your crown…and here we are learning to fly, or thrive.  The previous night I’d enjoyed an equally uplifting gathering with some of my dearest friends, my earth tribe, soul family, an eclectic mix of varying persuasions where commonality intersects in shared enthusiasm for mastering the self and expanding in a capacity for love.

My body vehicle continues to recover from the onslaught of a virus, or an imbalance in energy, as I adjust to the upheaval that has taken place in my spirit and flesh.  Once again I am cleansing and find myself vulnerable, simply allowing what is to flow as a leaf on the river.  We’re often reminded that the river will be turbulent at various twists and bends in the journey, but we have no fear of death when we simply surrender, not to say we quit, for we continue to float and in so doing abate drowning.   Invariably, it comes back to some part of us we’ve disowned, and another opportunity to shine our love in the darkness.  The scared little boy inside the rugged, solitary man just wants to be wanted, and in the moment of acceptance he sets himself free.

Work was a grind today as I fought heavy eyelids and would have preferred to take a half day, although I’ve used up the remainder of PTO for the year and have just a few vacation days remaining.  Upon arriving home I laid down and passed out for an hour, awaking with enough daylight to wander on down to the lake where I built a fire on the sand and proceeded to dispose of various and sundry paperwork including financial docs.  The sky was a quilt of blues and grays and the water murky ahead of a cold front promising more rain for waterlogged lawns, fields and forests.  At one point a piece of shale exploded from the simmering coals and I recognized that I was not lonely in my solitude.  I sat back on a log and listened to the familiar cadence of the waves  crashing ashore.

I am on the eve of completing my 41st trip around the sun and in reflection of my life it is interesting to consider how many career changes I’ve made, relationships I’ve explored and places I’ve seen in such a short span of time.  I am cautiously optimistic about the future in anticipation of many great adventures ahead knowing that there will always be challenge amidst the blessings.  It is as the coral reefs scoured by the sea continue to grow and flourish in their fragile beauty.  Leaves are turning hues and falling from limbs after spending a season soaking up the sun.  Everything is slowing down now in preparation for the cooler darker days of winter.  Impermanence at once brings on a sense of melancholy and redemption for we do reap the harvests we have sown.

In common wealth,

SjK

 

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