The first arctic blast of the season has ushered in blustery conditions with wind-driven snow sticking to the trunks of trees and the lake roiling under siege from a northwesterly gale.  Despite the fierce breeze I made it down to catch sunset while getting in some reps with the Joe D Bands before a sprint to get my ticker thumping and a steadfast retreat to warmth.  We are just a few weeks away from the darkest day of the year in the solstice and a Thanksgiving feast lies ahead in just a few days.  Our family managed to come up with a solution following the loss of a veteran’s post we had used for over 4 decades that could seat 40+ for the annual turkey and fixings extravaganza.  My cousin Michael and his wife Kim graciously opened their spacious home to everyone averting the end of a long-standing family tradition.

I find myself immersed in a bit of loneliness after having spent the entire day out here at the beach.  The solitude has been a blessing up until the evening hours where I am inclined to be social, or to share some time with a significant other.  I was invited out to a couple of events taking place in the city this evening, including Love It Forward, a progressive movement to promote random acts of kindness in the community across political, racial and socioeconomic boundaries.  As much as I’d be honored to participate in the festivities I am finding myself preferring rest.  Last night was a blast gathering at my parents’ house with the siblings, friends of the family and of course my lil buddy Charlie.  I love him so much and he has really taken to me as we played soccer and drums on a set of pots and pans.  Folks were joking that he looks a lot like me, or I like him, and so the standing joke now is that I got a Colombian woman pregnant a little over a year ago.  I can’t wait to see him again in a few days.

I now find my focus shifting to more feminine, or yin values of late; physical wellness, family and social engagements with my dearest beloved tribe.  The shift is not boding as well from a career standpoint as my performance on the job continues to be ordinary at best.  I had a heart to heart with my employer earlier this week and admitted that my focus is on other areas, namely my health as my body is simply not functioning at the peak levels I have been accustomed to for 40 years.  I even reached out to make a an appointment with a physician after getting a referral from a friend, and without insurance I will be coming out of pocket to the tune of $200.00 for a physical.  And who knows what she recommends from the external assessment, blood work perhaps and another bill to absorb.  Whatever diagnoses I may receive I trust my body’s innate healing intelligence to restore optimal function, though not without a greater shift in mental and emotional awareness, not to mention lifestyle.   Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

I find myself in a nostalgic mode longing for the companionship that has eclipsed once again.  Browsing through old photos on the social network took me back to August 2008 on my wedding day, and then on to pics from a more recently concluded romance.  I thought to comment on the wedding photo, only to perhaps dredge up unsolicited recourse, and opted instead to let sleeping dogs lie.  I did “like” a photo taken of me by Hoyt Lake on a warm spring evening sharing a bottle of red to wash down our delightful repast, thus cascading it back into my live feed for others to see.  Ah yes ’tis the season to reflect and go inward and if we so choose to love what we see in the rear view mirror, to love it backward as it were.  Our mutual destiny is love, how we choose to arrive is the mission we came here to fulfill.

In common wealth,

SjK

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