I didn’t know it at the time but I’d been re-writing the story I’d lived into, or inherited from The Matrix.  There would be much upheaval and flux in my life over the next several years including employment, place of residence and social life.  I took a hiatus from the “party scene” and didn’t touch a drop of booze for a couple years.  I was striving to become vegan, although settled on vegetarianism allowing myself some diary and periodically eggs.  I dropped some excess skin and if you’d looked at the photo on my driver’s license (renewed at age 30) you’d swear I was ten years younger.  I was letting go of so much karma and allowing myself to shine in a way I hadn’t since my youth.  Concurrently, I was also judging the shit out the world, including my beloved family and many of my closest friends.  I fell into a self-righteousness New Age narrative and became preachy, expecting everyone and anyone to get on this path of Response Ability.  I was the fool shouting into the wind.

Hello loyal readers,

I want to thank you all for following this blog over the last 2 years during an epic transition period in my life.  I fully expect at some point in the journey to draw upon the many experiences and insights contained herein as a compilation worthy of publication.  We all have at least book in our hearts and minds, just need to carve out the time to write it.

In the interim, I will be posting less often in here as I am switching gears turning my attention toward fresh new world-transforming endeavors.  At this time I would be honored if you would visit, follow and please comment at my new blog site:

http://nextstepneurs.com/category/blog/

We cannot be part of the solution until we recognize and understand the problem.  Which will you choose?

In common wealth,

SjK

Where do I go from here?  This seems to be the prevailing question at a metaphysical crossroads, armed with the depth of knowledge which can harden the most caring of hearts, and at the same time serving as a catalyst not to take one single moment for granted in this precious life.  Just when I thought I’d reinvented myself I find further deconstruction under way as the map once again becomes obsolete when compared to the terrain.  While I confess a lingering melancholy this winter, by no means am I throwing in the towel.  On the contrary, I have yanked my head out of the sand quickly turning my attention toward Truth and Beauty, the only magnetic compass point of value in the Universe.  I am right where I need to be no matter how uncomfortably polarizing it feels.  Fortunately, among the many powerful souls with whom I share this journey, I arranged for a much needed calibration of my chakras earlier this afternoon.  And even as I remain immersed in a most raw and vulnerable condition, kundalini flow has notably improved.  Among diagnostics a male energy impeding my throat chakra and “pin holes” in the solar plexus.  I’m also told a likely connective tissue tear in my right knee, same one that laid me up for a week almost 2 years ago.  The lower back pain which has cycled on and off over the last several weeks has waned, for now.

Last night I enjoyed a long overdue visit with friends taking the meandering and undulating drive from the lake shore to ski country in northern Cattaraugus County.  I’ve known Mark & Courtney for over a decade now and actually served as a chauffeur on their wedding night having borrowed my uncle’s 1957 Chevy to deliver them from the wedding ceremony to the reception as my gift in celebration of their union.  They have since started a family with a son, Henry and a daughter Nola, with another in the womb, residing upon a lovely homestead nestled in 29 acres of wooded hillside several miles south of the quaint and historic village of Ellicottville, a favorite destination for weekend warriors with a special affinity for powder and craft brews.  We indulged in a fine meal washed down with rounds of pints at the hot spot in town, EBC.  We were later joined by another friend, a former co-worker who is still employed at the college from which I was terminated now over 2 years ago.  It was a pleasant reprieve breaking up some of the monotony of a rather isolated existence out here by the frozen shores of Lake Erie.

There’s much requiring attention in my endeavors from a planned trip to the north country in coming weeks to retrieve the first batch of fruit and nut trees for the proposed orchard out at the farm, to my vested interests in a web platform uniting the entrepreneurial world from Australia to Canada and all nations in between.  Things remain tenuous and precarious at the day job as the slump continues without a hire in Q1 and the boss turning up the pressure to produce.  I’m not especially inspired in this expanded awareness to source talent for software companies, not unlike moving chess pieces around the board as competition for top-performing candidates escalates in a bull market.  At some point it will go the other direction as artificially inflated commodities and interest rates are manipulated resulting in inevitable market dips, if not crashes, and the ensuing contraction in job growth.  So for now I still have a job, though there is virtually no security and such is the nature of employment in the digital age.

I’ve heard it’s always darkest before the dawn and so perhaps that is a useful metaphor for my current disposition, or a snake molting another skin, and maybe even a caterpillar preparing to bust out of its pupal stage.  I know that this too shall pass and as I browse the web “What is depression?” I’m reminded of the myriad forms and prevalence in which it can manifest.  Even our 16th President Abraham Lincoln suffered from clinical depression, or melancholia, which makes you wonder if he had an intuition about his fate?  Based on an an overview and index of the symptoms I can rule out with confidence bi-polar, major depressive, psychotic and postpartum; however, dysthymic disorder with a sprinkle of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) seems applicable.  I have no doubt feeling the dirt and sand between my toes will lift my spirits with spring just around the bend.  It also helpful to gaze skyward into the vast expanse of the cosmos and remember we’re each made from the dust of the stars.

In common wealth,

SjK

It’s my own design
It’s my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most

It has been nearly a month since my last entry in this perpetual blog and actually I created a new blog site to which I will soon be transitioning.  So if you’re still following along and reading please do bookmark nextstepneurs.com to stay connected.  Yes another winter storm is delivering a heavy wet snow as a low pressure system sweeps on through in classic N’oreaster fashion.  A long stormy winter has dredged up the most primal of fears upon extensive research and investigation into globally orchestrated and implemented controls by those with the resources, knowledge and willful intent.   Emotional upheaval including anger and sadness for the rampant destruction of our beautiful planet and its inhabitants has cracked my heart chakra open wide, and a body weary from many long hours of sedentary web surfing interspersed with intense physical exertion.  I anticipate some major life choices in the days, months and years to come as I continue to refine my mind in sync with my endeavors.  It is nothing short of a “life reboot” as I practice vigilant alignment of my thoughts, feelings and actions with Natural Law.  Time for a bath with lavender epsom salts before laying down to a deep sleep. 

In common wealth,

SjK

“In a time of turbulence and change, it is more true than ever that knowledge is power.”

— John F. Kennedy: 35th President of the United States

So I called off work this morning as I’d anticipated about mid-week to grab some much-needed time for meta-spatial inquiry, or soul searching as it is more commonly known.  I have Pink Floyd streaming online, Echoes, on this overcast winter morning, although temps have moderated to near freezing.  I may strap on the snowshoes later for an expedition out upon the frozen tundra that was once a vast expanse of surface fresh water known as Lake Erie.  In the interim, I am sitting here reflecting upon a lovely evening of conversation, laughter and connection with a good friend over craft brews made from locally sourced hops.  It is a refreshing change of pace from the typically hurried frenzy of the morning rushing off to the office in pursuit of sales pros who are chasing dollars in a contemporary digitized version of the American Dream.  Taking soul inventory can be a bit like going to the doctor, praying for a clean bill of health upon examination of various key diagnostics.

Today marks the annual “Feast of Saint Valentine”, or the more familiar reference as Valentine’s Day replete with flowers and chocolate and whispering of sweet nothings into the ears of a special person with whom we share our mind, body and spirit in an intimate manner.  While conflicting historical accounts of the patron saint’s martyrdom circulate various ecclesiastical circles, the modern day celebration has surely been centered around romantic unions, and a commercial money-grab for retailers eager to capitalize upon emotionally-motivated purchases.

I’ve spent the majority of my adult life single on this holiday, although it was 6 years ago today that I proposed to my now ex-wife, surprising her with a 1.25 carat Princess cut diamond engagement ring.  Yet, the surprise was a bit of an aberration as she’d been insisting upon thrusting forward to the next step just 3 months into dating and I delivered in the most cliche sort of way imaginable.  I played the fool caving to pressure in following the folly of my heart dropping substantial coin and falling prey to the system of usury which ensnares the vast majority who seek the kingdom of Heaven in material items such as houses, cars and a box of chocolates.  Goes to show you just never know which one you’re gonna get.

To be sure that was then and this is now, oh such tranquil thoughts through which we browse.  As I tune into the macrocosm from the microcosm of this energy container known as the body, I feel the collective emotive pulse of the planet, perhaps exacerbated by those who long for companionship, and others under the gun to deliver the goods and remain in good favor with Cupid.  And from an individual standpoint I feel tears pooling up in my eyes with a smile upon my face as I count the many blessings of this often bizarre and circuitous life.  I may not presently be sharing the journey with a partner, or a mate, and yet I know I am whole and complete and never alone in all my relations.  Mitakuye Oyashin!

Breathe…breathe in the air…don’t be afraid to care…all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be…run rabbit run dig that hole forget the sun…don’t sit down it’s time to dig another one…there is no dark side of the moon, matter of fact it’s all dark…

Strangers passing in the street by chance two separate glances meet…

In common wealth,

SjK

A most frigid winter evening following the advance of yet another arctic air mass plunging south and wreaking havoc as a storm system chugs up the east coast with ice and snow in the forecast.  Fortunately, looks as though we will be spared the brunt of the elements after getting our fair share in recent weeks.  I managed to tweak a muscle, or perhaps a pinched nerve in my shoulder blade, compounded or aggravated by a massage session, and 72 hours later there is finally some relief from the piercing pain.  Yesterday was a bit excruciating just sitting upright at a desk, where I focus on maintaining good posture for 8 hours, as my muscles yearned to relax.  The shoveling has been of an order and magnitude unlike any winter I can recall, and I must confess caught me a bit unprepared in terms of equipment.  An investment in a snow thrower or a plow would have been wise, and if not for a generous neighbor offering up his machine periodically, I might just stay holed up in here until spring breaks.

Despite the bone-chilling temps I made it through the day in a rather cool office and off to the gym to get some cardio in before treating myself to an IPA and some chicken wings at the local pirate pub, then a soak in the tub with lavender epsom salts before sitting down to enter this latest blog post whilst sipping ginger tea.  I’m at something of a crossroads in my vocational endeavors as I reflect upon the last year of experience building a new professional skill set in software sales recruiting, or headhunting as most know it.  It has been a tumultuous ride, as I’d been forewarned by the owner of the firm when I started, with many highs and lows in terms of securing hires, or “deals” as they’re called when a client hires one of our candidates.  The novelty wore off several months ago as I got the hang of it, and lately it occurs to me that I am simply never going to be fulfilled or self-actualized sitting at a desk as an employee for the long run.  This is not really a newsflash, rather more of a recent validation since making the shift from contracting to inside sales over 6 years ago.

I do have some irons in the fire including a web venture and prospects for increased participation at a local CSA out in Wyoming County.  The next few weeks shall be quite telling in terms of long range effects from choices executed.  No matter how I slice it I am simply not money-motivated, or driven, rather it is relationships, nurturing existing bonds as I engage new, which drive my activity.  This has served me well from a sales standpoint, but again for me it is more about service, and ministry than extracting transactional profits.  I didn’t sign up for this Earth Mission to go through the motions and collect a paycheck while chasing the dangled carrot of “retirement”, which enslaves the masses.  I aint interested in an exit strategy.  I am building a legacy.

In common wealth,

SjK

Join me in this piece of the legacy here => http://sjkennedy.neurs.net

A most infamous January goes into the books following record-cold temps and persistent snow events resulting in exertion to dig out seemed like darn near ever other day, and with that the Year of the Snake gives way to the Horse on the Chinese calendar.  I’ve been exceptionally busy in my various endeavors of late and thus, nearly 3 weeks since my last post.  The launch of neurs.com and an inspired recruiting effort to share the opportunity with as many as possible has been an area of emphasis whilst maintaining the day job and various other responsibilities in life.  I haven’t seen my nephew Charlie in almost 2 weeks and so tomorrow I look forward to connecting with my lil buddy during the big annual shindig hosted by my sister and brother-in-law for SB XLVIII.  As a little boy I wore the Seattle Seahawks’ pajamas and so I have a soft spot rooting for them to win their first-ever championship over the Denver Broncos held for the first time ever in an outdoor northern stadium.  The party attracts over a hundred people between family and friends with a buffet that would put many banquets to shame.

I have the big ACC clash between Syracuse and Duke on the TV as laundry churns in the washer while reflecting upon the last 24 hours.  After work yesterday I jetted out to the farm in Wyoming Country to gather with my tribe for homemade soup, camaraderie and discussion of a vision for 2014 in terms of collaborative projects.  There was mention of a first annual music festival, though that’s likely a bit further out on the horizon as infrastructure and capital must be improved to prepare before such a major event can be pulled off.  Sitting around the kitchen table the focus was on installation of fencing to contain an increased head count for the cows, construction of two more high tunnels to ramp up winter greens production and perhaps the beginning of an apple, pear and plum orchard on an eastern-facing slope toward the back end of the primary acreage.  Tapping maples, raising honeybees and resurrecting the vermicomposting bins which have been left to freeze in an old barn were also offered up.

I found myself especially resonating with the fruit tree initiative and what an honor it would be to assume the role of Orchard Master once I learn from other professionals who have masted cultivars, grafting onto stock, pruning and pest management to ensure an abundance of nature’s yield.  We even talked about doing a one month fast this summer, or dietary protocol restricting ourselves to that which can only be harvested from the farm, meaning no coffee, salt, sugar or anything you’d pull from a grocery store shelf or display.  It is an exciting prospect for not only physical wellness, but as a bold move in the direction of weaning off the various abhorrent processed food products which plague the masses, along with the profits lining the pockets of those who have little to no scruples in their marketing manipulation.  Indeed, to farm and subsist of one’s own accord is an act of civil disobedience and true patriotism in alignment with Natural Law.  In such a way, we can create a new model, or lifestyle which we pass down to the next generation leaving a legacy of health, compassion and sovereignty.

In common wealth,

SjK